i felt the rise of that old familiar feeling. i hated it... welcomed it.

I wanted to read the kind of book where everybody dies and nothing works out in the end, so I went out and bought The Maltese Falcon. I kind of want to live in the noir world right now, where you get ground down no matter how hard you try, until the end, where you wind up lying face-down somewhere with a hole in your heart.

Don't get me wrong, that's not a bad way to feel.